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"This book is worth a course of therapy! It is for anyone who has ever been weighed down by the delusion that sheer will and control could deliver a desired outcome. Through compelling case histories, Mr. Miller presents universal examples of the costs of this kind of disordered thinking, and step by step, shows us the way out. “Losing Control, Finding Serenity” is the missing link to uncovering the true wisdom of the Serenity Prayer.."

Barbara LaSalle, MFT
Author of Finding Ben

“Miller’s insight into letting go allows people to become truly who God intends them to be and therefore more fully human.”

Rev.Cannon Normans S. Hull

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Intentions For Letting Go of Control

Have you set your intentions for 2015 yet? Consider including intentions for letting go of control, which are a highly effective way to reduce the need or compulsion to control. Below are my Decontrol Intentions for letting go of control this year. I intend to: “Let go of the things that I cannot realistically change” “Trust more that my children will make decisions that are best for them” “Trust that I will be okay whatever the situation” “Reduce my expectations of others” “Recognize that what works for me does not necessarily work for others” “Focus on improving my own…

Free Your Creative Flow by Letting Go of Control

(Excerpted in part from Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go) If you really want to release your creative juices, try letting go of control. Don’t overthink and overanalyze, press too much, or strive for perfection with your creative endeavors. Such controlling means can severely inhibit the creative flow whether it be art, dance, writing, or composing—even cooking and gardening—because they restrict freedom of thought, of motion, and ultimately, the connection with one’s soul center. As you begin to loosen your grip, the creative process becomes highly engrossing—even spiritual,…

How to Let Go of Limited Thinking*

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein As so often happens when I go on vacation, valuable insights come in unexpected ways. It happened again during a recent fly fishing trip with my adult son, Brandon, to the Sian Kan Biosphere, a government protected nature and wildlife reserve at the southern tip of Mexico. I got in touch with a major difference in Brandon’s and my thought patterns. Brandon thinks expansively about life’s possibilities—particularly those involving fun and adventure. His typical mindset is…

Letting Go of Negative Feelings and Emotions

At times we all have those negative or “unwanted” feelings and emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger and the like, or feel bored and troubled– even depressed. On other occasions, we have a generalized, uncomfortable feeling of angst. These feelings prevent us from being aware of the beauty that is all around us and from recognizing opportunities that can vastly improve our lives emotionally, spiritually, creatively and financially. Most people try to escape and run from these troublesome feelings, hoping they can leave them behind. Unfortunately, such escape routes don’t really work—and for good reason. Our discomfiting feelings and…

Letting go of Control Improves the Love Flow

Have you ever noticed how with certain couples love and affection flow so naturally?  Indeed, almost effortlessly.   There is a good reason for this.   These couples have learned to stop trying to control one another—and their relationship—and that leads to greater intimacy and a more vibrant love flow. write essays online Conversely, you may have noticed that when couples press or “search” for love too intensely, they just can’t seem to find it.  Indeed, in spite of (and usually because of) their best efforts they often push love away.  There is a good reason for this as well: Love…

Why Excessive Control in the Work Place is Harmful

The workplace is a hot bed for inefficient and costly control practices. The compulsion to control at work and in business is an unavoidable consequence of man’s (and woman’s) primal drive for sustenance and survival. Some may graciously refer to it as just ”trying to get ahead” or “make ends meet”, but in truth, it can be argued that it is nothing less than the survival of the fittest at the work place. As such, work is fertile ground for our fears and anxieties, causing us to press, direct, resist, and manipulate—and worry incessantly. personal narrative essay Why, you…

Let Go of Control to Gain Control of Your Children

Many parents are frustrated and distressed because they feel they have lost control over their children.  Things have just gotten too out of hand–for some, alarmingly so.  The natural inclination for such parents is to become more controlling in their efforts to contain the damage.    Hence, they typically become more demanding, resistant, punishing and close-minded in interactions with their children. help me write my paper To these parents I would offer what at first may seem blasphemous advice: Stop trying to control your children’s lives!   That’s right; give up some control if you want to regain some…

Three Key Ways Letting Go of Control Improves Your Life

When we control excessively we are attempting to alter life’s moving currents and rhythm. When we do this, we are unable to see options and make choices that would significantly our lives emotionally, spiritually, creatively, and financially. We become imprisoned by our fears, anger, and resentment and are thus not open to the wonders that await us. how to enlarge penis size When we let go of control our blinders are removed and we can begin to enjoy life’s possibilities. Intimate relations become more intimate. Family bonds strengthen. Creative horizons expand. Work becomes more productive and enjoyable. Moreover, when…